The Cost Of Love And Sanity Read online

  Dear Reader:

  Out of all the topics that I get advice emails about, being reluctant about entering into another committed relationship due to lack of trust is one of the biggest. It is hard for a woman to take a chance on love, expose her vulnerability, and become emotionally attached once she has been through a lot of heartbreak and pain. Such is the case with Alex Carter, in Jaye Cheríe’s The Cost of Love and Sanity. Alex is concentrating on her career path, is recently single again, and is prepared to give up on love altogether. Then one day, at a crowded gas station, she runs into Nathan Chestnut, a man who betrayed her a decade earlier. He still looks good, he is still charming, but she remembers what he did. He professes to have changed, to have matured, and wants another chance.

  This leads to another common topic from my email: second chances. Sometimes it is possible for people to be apart for years, even decades, and evolve into the soul mates that each desires. But Alex still has serious insecurity issues that she must overcome, along with suspicion, and overall trying to find something to disqualify Nathan yet again. The Cost of Love and Sanity is an interesting look at a dilemma that millions of women with tainted pasts face globally on any given day. Is love worth taking a chance on, or is it better to run from it? Will the next man be another example of disrespect, cheating, and being untrustworthy or will he be the example of what true love looks like?

  As always, thanks for supporting the authors of Strebor Books. We try our best to bring you the future in great literature today. We appreciate the love. You can find me on Facebook @AuthorZane and on Twitter @planetzane.

  Blessings,

  Publisher

  Strebor Books

  www.simonandschuster.com

  To every woman who believes in true love—May you never give up on love and may God reward you for it;

  To the real “Nathan,”—It always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. —1 Corinthians 13: 7-8

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  First, I want to thank God for giving me another opportunity to express my creativity through the written word. It is truly a blessing for me and I hope my work is a blessing to others. I want to thank the people that read and purchased The Golddigger’s Club.

  To my family—thank you for your continued support. First Coast Christian Writers Group—thanks for the feedback. As always, it makes a difference.

  Toastmasters International, especially Lillian R. Bradley Toastmasters Club—thanks for your support.

  My Strebor family—thanks for your guidance. It’s helping me become a better writer.

  CHAPTER 1

  “Uh um,” the VP of Operations, Mr. Eugene Sims, stood behind his executive chair and cleared his throat. The room acknowledged him with silent cooperation. “Surely, you all are wondering why I’ve called this meeting. Everyone is in a hurry to get out of here and enjoy their New Year’s. Nevertheless, we have a pressing issue to discuss before the first of next month.” He frowned.

  “As you all know, our numbers are down twenty-eight percent this quarter after being down nineteen percent last quarter. We’ve lost contracts. We aren’t getting as many good people placed with our present clients and this is affecting our business.” He leaned on the chair. “Golden Burch has been looking for a sales professional for four months. We haven’t sent him anyone in four months!” the VP raised his voice, allowing his aggravation to erupt like a volcano.

  For a second, you could hear a rat pee on cotton. Alexis Carter, one of three junior recruitment managers, blinked four times in rapid succession. Until Mr. Sims’ outburst she’d been fighting hard to stay awake. She should have made herself a cup of tea that morning or at least stopped somewhere and bought a tea. A tea and two sunrisers. She could smell the steaming hot, peppered sausage, melted cheese and buns burning up her fingers as she pushed one into her mouth. Her stomach growled in response to her food fantasy. She quickly placed her hand over her stomach and looked to her left and her right to see if anyone heard it. Nobody showed any signs they did.

  Suddenly, Dan Reece, a coordinator, raised his hand, looking like a fifth-grader about to ask his teacher if he could go to the bathroom.

  “What?” Mr. Sims zeroed in on Dan.

  “We haven’t sent over any sales candidates because none of them fit their qualifications,” Dan said.

  “And what did you do about that?”

  Dan fell silent, searching his colleagues’ faces for ideas about what to say next. When no one offered him a lifeline, he answered on his own, sitting up straight in his chair. “Well, I…I called everyone I could in our database.”

  “And?” the VP said, without blinking.

  Dan swallowed. This meeting was going further downhill by the minute.

  “And no one matched,” Dan said.

  The VP pointed toward the embarrassed employee. “This is my point. As bad as the economy is, with all the people out there looking for jobs, all we’re doing is making excuses. We’re not doing everything we can to find the candidates. That’s not gonna cut it.”

  Alex sat back in her chair. She knew this talk would come. The year started with a bang and ended with a whimper. She’d hoped their tongue lashing wouldn’t come today, especially since her stomach seemed intent on gearing up for a second growl.

  “Last year, we launched the Referral Program. Whatever happened to that? I heard it a couple of times in the meetings but not one person has mentioned anything about it since.” Mr. Sims walked toward the right side of the room. “What about other ideas? Has anyone even attempted to find other ways to solve this problem?”

  In an effort to look productive in this train wreck of a meeting, Alex answered. “I’ve had my people making triple the calls, to unemployed candidates as well as employed ones. I figured maybe some people are ready for a career upgrade.”

  She saw Dan smirk out of the corner of her eye.

  Mr. Sims nodded. “Well, Alex, we’ll have to continue finding ways to recruit. It’s the company’s goal to find people jobs, right?”

  “Right,” the room said in unison.

  “Good. I’m glad we agree on something. In the meantime, we’re going to have to make some changes.” Mr. Sims scanned the board room. “The company will have to let someone go in a few months.”

  Everyone looked around at each other, except Alex. She couldn’t see herself on the chopping block and, most importantly, she wouldn’t see herself on the chopping block. She’d exceeded her recruitment numbers over the past two years. She became one of their top recruitment managers her first month there. This can’t apply to me. I’ll make sure of it.

  “We’ll be observing you guys. We should be making a decision around March or April. Until then, come up with ways to help our clients. Immediately. I’ll be watching you.”

  After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence and exchanged glances, Mr. Sims dismissed the executive staff from the boardroom. Alex sped away from the low chatters and panicked expressions and headed toward the elevator. Courtney Davis and Romero Martinez filed behind her.

  “Wow!” Romero said. “I guess we’d really better get on the ball, huh? We need to work harder at protecting the image of the company.”

  “Forget the image of the company! I need to keep my job,” said Courtney. As Alex watched her talk, she thought about Courtney’s uncle—the CEO Mark Davis. Somehow, Alex didn’t think the spunky redhead had anything to worry about.

  Courtney bounced off the elevator onto the third floor.

  Romero shook his head and said what they were both thinking. “Like she’s gonna get fired. I hope they don’t get carried away with the rest of us. I have a kid in private school.” Romero narrowed his eyes and wrinkled his for
ehead.

  “This only means it’s really time to buckle down,” Alex said.

  Romero’s eyes stared off into the empty space. “Yeah. I suppose you’re right.”

  The bell rang and the elevator doors opened to Alex’s floor. She turned toward the door and raised her foot to step off.

  “Hey!”

  She turned back toward Romero.

  “Thanks.”

  Alex forced a smile and nodded.

  “Say. Did you get my email?” Romero asked.

  Her brain flashed back to the email she had received from him yesterday. Romero had asked her to attend an art exhibit with him. Refusing to allow recognition of the email to cross her face, Alex feigned ignorance. “What email?”

  “Oh, I sent you an email about the art exhibit downtown tomorrow. I wanted to know if you would like to go check it out with me?” Romero asked, smiling.

  Alex took a deep breath. She hated to tell him no. He really was a nice guy—but not the guy for her. Besides, she’d been seeing Phillip for about six months now. Even though she and Phillip were far from heading toward the wedding chapel, she couldn’t see making a run for Romero.

  She snapped her fingers. “You know what? I already have plans with my friend.”

  “Oh, yes. Yes, of course,” he said, lowering his head slightly.

  “But thank you. Thank you for the invite.”

  “Sure. Maybe some other time,” Romero said.

  “Maybe.” Alex stepped forward and the elevator door closed behind her.

  She shook her head. Not a chance. Romero wanted more than she could possibly give him and she did not believe in dating nice guys because they were, well nice. Besides, any romance between them would spark unwanted office gossip. Employees already had enough food for thought with the coming layoff. She had to concentrate on how to keep upper management off her back and what she wanted to do for New Year’s Eve.

  CHAPTER 2

  Alex steered East onto Camelot Drive determined to release all thoughts of the emergency meeting. The crisp air seeped through the small cracks between her car doors, while hot air swished through the air vents, blowing her dark brown, shoulder-length hair off her neck. Christmas lights still lined most of the houses in her subdivision. Each house Alex passed seemed to outshine the one before it. Her house, on the other hand, fit into the small group without holiday decorations. As she pulled her black Lexus up to the two-story home, Alex couldn’t help but notice the lack of holiday spirit there. She should have been embarrassed but she had an excuse; she’d been too busy at work to bother with decorations and she didn’t feel like asking Phillip to do anything these days.

  The man initially represented himself as the perfect gentleman— patient, polite and thoughtful. But, over the last couple of months, Phillip had become impatient and a little selfish. Suddenly, his time and objectives took precedence over anything she had to do. Yet, he liked to present reasons for his requests as if they made more sense. He would have probably told her she didn’t need light decorations because she had no children around to appreciate them.

  Phillip’s car was already parked in her driveway. Alex switched off her ignition and looked at his car, then, at the front door. She longed to go inside, eat, take a shower and curl up in bed with the TV remote instead of feigning interest in conversation with him. Maybe the night wouldn’t drag out too long. Maybe she could stop him before he harped on the problems with public education or government. She opened her car door and pushed herself out. Walking past Phillip’s silver Audi, she placed her hand on top of the car. The cool hood indicated he’d been there a while.

  Upon opening the door, she smelled steak, rice, tomatoes and okra. I hate okra and he knows this. She sighed and placed her briefcase on the table in her foyer. Alex rounded the corner to see Phillip bent forward into the cabinet.

  “Hey. What’s up?” Alex asked, forcing herself to sound chipper.

  His face emerged, showing neatly framed facial hair. “Nothing,” Phillip said. He stood straight. “Did you bring some salt with you?”

  “No,” Alex said, sitting down on a stool.

  He frowned and closed the cabinet door. “I thought you said you would stop to get some on your way home.”

  “No, I didn’t say that.”

  “Yes, you did.”

  “No, I didn’t.” Alex furrowed her brow.

  “Is it that you didn’t say it or is it that you don’t remember saying it?”

  “I didn’t say it, Phillip. I didn’t even know I needed any.”

  “It’s your house! You don’t ever check to see what you need in your house.”

  Alex’s blood boiled to 103 degrees. She pressed her fingertips to her temples and took a deep breath. “I don’t have a problem with missing salt. You do.”

  He shrugged and tossed his hands up in the air. “Fine. I hope you don’t mind the tomatoes and okra being bland because there wasn’t enough seasoning.”

  “Since you didn’t go to the store to get it, I’m sure it’s fine.” Alex rolled her eyes. She hated it when Phillip overdramatized things. It was salt. Not gold.

  Phillip turned off the stove and they fixed their plates. They moved in silence with the tension of their argument still lingering in the air. Alex and Phillip sat down at opposite sides of the dining room table, allowing the sound of the TV to serve as a soundtrack.

  She glanced up at Phillip and saw him focused on his steak. Pressing on his knife and fork, he cut his steak into bite-sized pieces before eating it. She cleared her throat. “So, how was work today?”

  Phillip continued to study his steak. “Fine. They’re implementing new computer software.”

  “Oh. Is it gonna be easier or better?”

  He smirked. “Not really. Half of our staff barely knows how to use computers as it is. I can see them hitting my department up a million times a day.”

  “Well, if it gets too strenuous, maybe you guys can ask for a raise.” Alex chewed on a piece of steak.

  He snorted. “They are not gonna give anybody any more money. The employees didn’t even get cost-of-living raises this year.” He regained eye contact with Alex. “But I’ll bet the head honchos got their bonuses.”

  What else could she say? He had a negative comeback for everything as usual. Alex nodded and sipped her water.

  “What about you?” Phillip mumbled between bites.

  “What?”

  “What about you?” he repeated in a booming voice. “How was your day?”

  She sighed. “I guess it could have been better. They called an emergency meeting and told us they are planning to let someone go.”

  “Really?” Phillip asked, raising his eyebrows.

  “Yeah.”

  “That sounds bad but you don’t sound worried. You don’t think they’re gonna do it?”

  She shook her head. “No. I’m not worried. I’ve always been a top employee at the company. So, I’m sure I’ll keep my job.”

  Phillip picked up his napkin, wiped his mouth and placed it back on the table. He leaned forward in his chair. “You can’t count on that. Maybe it’s time you look for something else.”

  “Like what?”

  “I don’t know. Something with less hours. It can’t be healthy to work so much.”

  Alex frowned. “You work just as much as I do.”

  “Yeah, but I’m a man.”

  “Excuse me. What does that have to do with anything?”

  He rolled his eyes. “As a woman, you shouldn’t have to work so hard. You should be able to let your man do all the work.”

  Alex couldn’t believe her ears. What an idiot? “And what should a woman be doing?”

  “Enjoying her life. Shopping. Cooking. Whatever makes her happy.”

  Alex dropped her fork on her plate. She didn’t go to college, work her way up the corporate ladder to sit at home and cook for him. She was a grownup—one fully capable of taking care of her own responsibilities, despite whatever he tho
ught she should be doing.

  “Phillip, if you have a problem, why don’t you say it?”

  He crossed his arms. “I don’t have a problem. I only like a woman that can chill out and let her man lead sometimes. You know, be a woman.”

  Alex anger rose even higher. She’d had enough of this. “So, what are you saying? I’m not a ‘woman’?” she yelled.

  “Yes, you are but…I mean you’re the type of woman that’s super defensive and overambitious. You spend all this time on your little career. You can’t even remember to restock your kitchen.” He pointed toward the cabinet.

  Alex scowled. “I’m fine in my little career. I like my life. But since you’re the one with the problem, maybe you should start looking elsewhere.”

  “We’ll see how great your life is when you’re old and alone without anyone to care if you’re sick or alive. It’s gonna get real lonely staring at the four walls.”

  Is he trying to scare me? Alex’s heart rate increased, as her chest swelled. She pointed her finger at him. “I think you need to go.”

  Phillip huffed and stood up from the table. “That’s just as well. We should stop wasting our time anyway, right? We obviously don’t have much in common.” He walked over to the counter to pick up his keys. “You don’t have to worry about me anymore, Alex. Goodbye.”

  With those words, Phillip stalked around the corner and stormed out the door.

  CHAPTER 3

  “Can you believe this? Can you believe Phillip?” Alex frowned in disbelief at her best friend, Izzy Parker, while the winter air escaped her mouth.

  Groups of people stood throughout Mark’s Landing waiting for the fireworks to indicate the start of a new year. Some ate candy apples, hot dogs or funnel cakes. Others people watched. Alex chose to talk her sympathetic friend’s ear off. She must have told Izzy the breakup details twenty times but she could not resist lamenting on it once again. The spinning in her head began, as Alex replayed her and Phillip’s argument like a DVD. Each time, she heard his words, saw his movements and seethed in her own anger. Complaining to Izzy helped her deal.